Saturday, March 26, 2011

Green Sneakers

part 2

Life wasn’t always so nail-biting and unpredictable. Jane and Cara were born 2 months apart, Jane was the older of the two. Jane was born in late August, Cara near the beginning of October. Not only did the 2 girls share near Indian summer birthdays, but also their love of travel.
At a very young age, Jane was exposed to many different sites of the country. Her father was a Christian businessman, traveling year-round to many different major companies. He brought his family everywhere, along with the wisdom of teamwork through the teachings of Jesus to the many different companies he visited. Jane and Ally grew up quick. Ally was 3 years older than her sister, Jane. Jane began her travels with the rest of the Jewell family when she was just 4 years old, and Ally 7. Jane and Ally’s parents continued to gain notoriety through their mind-opening teachings. Burn-out finally caught up with them and after 9 years of constant on-the-go life, the Jewell’s decided to pack it up and go home. Jane was just about to turn 13 and Ally was a very “grown up” 16. Ally’s parents promised her that when she was 16 she could decide if she wanted to continue to be home-schooled, or go to public school. Mrs. Jewell could barely finish her question to Ally before she answered with a resounding, “I hate home-school, Mom. I want to experience REAL life already.” Mr. and Mrs. Jewell consented and told Ally they’d sign her up the following week. The only thing the Jewell’s didn’t tell Ally was that they had indeed signed her up at the end of the school year the year before because they knew Ally much preferred public school over her “sheltered” life at home.
Jane was the shyer one of the 2. She watched as her older sister Ally began to quickly fall into the world of boys and drugs. She didn’t dare try to get into her sister’s business. However, at one point, Jane had enough of just watching her sister slowly slip away from reality. By the time Ally was at the end of her senior year, she had tried nearly every drug under the sun, compliments of her on-again off-again male friend, James.
Jane absolutely hated what James’s influence was doing to her sister she so desperately wanted to reach out to. Ally loved to sing and write music. Music was the greatest thing that connected Ally and Jane. Through their years of growing up and traveling. Ally and Jane loved making up their own words to well-known songs they would hear on the radio. Ally was a master at piano. Jane looked up to her so much, and even started to learn a bit of piano herself, hoping to be even a smidgen as good as her prodigy sister. However, the music-playing, piano-learning quickly turned to dust once Ally discovered the single greatest thing to a teenager… “love.” Once Ally started high school, she left her nagging sister behind. Ally was too old for that “kid stuff” she’d tell her sister. Jane was heartbroken, though she’d never share that with anyone but herself, and mostly in her pink and brown polka-dotted journal. Jane and Ally even shared a room together, but soon after Christmas the same year Ally began high school, that changed too. Ally came home one day from school to find her room half empty, and Ally walking up the stairs from the basement. Ally had taken over the computer den as her own. Jane swallowed hard and dragged her heavy feet into her room and slowly pushed the door closed. An empty feeling swept over her as warm drops of water began to slide down her freckled, flushed cheeks. She was still breathing heavy from running home from the bus stop. Jane was excited to show Ally a new piece she had learned in piano class that day at school. However, it was obvious to Jane that Ally had her mind engulfed in much more interesting things. Jane slid her hand off the door knob and gave way to the heaviness pushing down on her. She blinked her tears off the tops of her cheeks, and began to cry. She slowly and quietly let her feet out from under her and leaned up against the door with her head resting against the tops of her knees. In her head, she could hear the things she wanted to say to Ally, but knew that she’d never have the guts to say anything to her. She also knew how long it had been since the last time she had even made mention about God. She kept hearing over and over in her head the things she just wanted to say to God, but felt ashamed and tried to cram it back down passed the lump in her throat. Meanwhile, she could hear Ally pacing back and forth in the living room, talking on the phone with James. Ally couldn’t sit still when she was on the phone…especially with James.
“Please God, don’t let her hear me crying like a baby, please God, please, I’ll do whatever you want me to, just don’t let her hear me,” Jane kept pleading. But the tears continued to soak the faded part of her jeans on her knees.
She finally composed herself and thought, “Why am I so upset…?”
She tried reasoning with herself, and coming up with her own answers and excuses, but none of them seemed right, or even ‘good enough’ to be true, or at least half true. Finally, in between her deep breaths, Jane began to reason and bargain with God.
“Ok God, if you’re really there, I want You to…”
She continued for a time, and gave up. Jane pulled herself up off the floor, and caught a glimpse of her disheveled hair, and puffed up cheeks in the mirror and chuckled at her reflection. It was the first time she’d laughed in a few days. She stared at the mirror and said quietly aloud ‘to Ally’, “All because I love you,” shaking her head.
That was the last memory Jane had before she was whisked away from her barely recognizable car. The memory quickly faded as Jane pinched herself to make sure she was really staring God in the face. Sentences raced across Jane’s mind like that of a scrolling marquee, but couldn’t form her lips around the words. She was awestruck. She stood with her mouth hanging open, hands in her baggy sweats, and eyebrows perked. One might think Jane’s current condition was due to the fact that she was finally meeting the Almighty. On the contrary, Jane’s appearance mocked that of one confused as to why on EARTH she was standing in front of God in the first place. She thought to herself, “I must be dreaming…”
“Pinch yourself again, Jane, you’re not dreaming,” He said with a sort of warmth in His tone.


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