There was a time in my life when I went through the anxiety of deciding what I wanted to be when I grew up. I was...in 5th grade. I remember what I wanted to be...the first female professional hockey player. Then I grew up a little & by 7th grade I realized, at best, I'd be a really good street hockey goalie that just happened to be a girl. By high school, I revamped my dream of playing hockey into...a chef. Even though I had absolutely zero desire to do that.
I chose it to get my less-than-concerned high school counselor off my back.
It took me a long time to see that I was slowly becoming (at least on the outside) what people wanted me to become. It was hard fitting into so many different boxes. "Be a teacher...they get summer vacation!"
"you've missed your calling if you don't become a photographer!"
And so on...
It was exhausting trying to be what others thought I should be. Since I can remember, I've just always wanted to be happy doing what I'm doing. If that's at the expense of others' expectations they had for me, then it's no longer my issue.
For so long, I've tried to close the lid on the box. Stuff my arms inside & sit Indian-style & poke holes just large enough for me to see what I was missing. For so long, I've believed I had to do one thing. I had to pick one thing and do that for the rest of my life. I had to pick one box to sit in forever.
Only recently am I beginning to realize that's not how I was wired. There's more adventure inside of me than I ever thought. There are more desires in my heart waiting to be fulfilled. And they wouldn't have ever been discovered if I hadn't decided to bust out of the box.
Never in my life did I think I could do and be a part of more than one thing at a time. And although I know for sure what I do is never who i am and no role or title will ever completely & accurately define who God has called me to be, I know this; I'm a part of many somethings that all boil down to one something. Even though I serve in numerous roles, theres always one thought in mind, Jesus is changing lives. And as long as I can be even a small part of that something forever, I know I'm living life outta the box.
Because God doesn't fit in any of the boxes we've ignorantly tried to shove Him into. He doesnt fit snug into the box of religion. How do I know? Because Jesus turned His back on the Pharisees in order to have relationship with people. People that were constantly looked over. He constantly stepped out of the box of religion & law. Why? Because He was and is always motivated by love...not lists of dos and donts.
If Jesus was motivated by the Law, He would've never been crucified.
If Jesus was motivated by the Law, the entire Gospel would be backward!