Friday, March 25, 2011

Green Sneakers

hi guys.  this will be a series of many different posts.  (and by 'guys' i mean 2 things)
1.) 'guys' includes gals
and
2.) i might be the only 'guys' that reads this

but that's ok.  i'll post it anyway.  about a year and a half ago, i began spontaneously writing.  i'm not really sure what or why i was writing.  but i had the urge to write.  it cannot be explained.  perhaps maybe inside and out of the words written after this will shed some light on what it is and why it is i am writing.  i was walking through some personal tragedy (and on some days, i continue to walk through the valley) and writing was just a way to open up, even if to a 15 inch laptop screen.  or a small journal.  i've decided to open it up a bit further.  to a blog!  This start of a fiction story has been dubbed 'Green Sneakers'.  it started out as a fountain of feelings spilled out onto a page...and then shared with a few people and now i shall pitch it to a blog page.  to be read, or read over or unread. it doesn't matter.  so, to my small audience, i launch a personal side of my writing.  a piece of fiction...from my life.  i will post a little bit each day and continue on writing.  currently, 'Green Sneakers' sits as an unfinished, unedited 9 page document in Microsoft Word. 
perhaps it will never be more than that, but i have a feeling the characters are ripping the seams to get out. 
i hope you enjoy.

Green Sneakers
part 1

It wasn’t anything out of the norm for Jane(?) to be late. She’s one of those kinds that remembers something last minute and needs to run into the house for something. Then will get half way out of the driveway, and forget her purse, which had her cell phone in it, and all of life’s necessities…at least the necessities a young gal would need. It was one of those such nights when Jane was running a bit late. Her parents had just walked through the door, one right after another. They exchanged greetings, and jostled through the kitchen looking for dinner’s menu. Above their chatter, Jane snuck in her reminder that she’d be heading over to Cara’s house for their Tuesday night movie and girl time. Jane’s parents, without looking away from the fridge, told Jane to have a good night, and to not stay up late, and avoid eating too much junk food. She grabbed her keys and hustled through the door. Her mother’s words followed her out the door in an echo saying, “Drive safe, Jane…”
“Ayyyy, I will, mother…,” Jane thought to herself as she jumped off the top stair and raced out of the garage and down the drive to her car.
It was a routine that Jane and Cara had instituted since they had both gone off to college, and then come back home for the summer time. Both Jane and Cara had grown up together, and lived in the same quaint, suburban neighborhood since they were 10. After Jane graduated from high school, her parent’s decided to move to the country, to Jane’s disliking. She was the last one out of the house and the Jewell’s wanted to get out of the city, and not have to worry about school districts and catching the bus. They just wanted a piece of land and some room to grow. Jane’s oldest sister got caught up in the grueling world of drugs, and succumbed to an overdose. While Cara’s younger brother, Charlie, died from complications with cancer at a very young age of 6.
Movie Tuesday was an every week ritual that the girls were faithful to even when it seemed that nothing else was faithful to them, they could always count on Movie Tuesday. Wednesday was the only day that Jane and Cara had off at the same time from work. They vowed to keep their summer time Movie Tuesdays no matter what. Even during their time at college on opposite sides of the country, they tried to sneak in telephone/movie dates. Jane and Cara would choose a movie, and start it at the same time, and watch the same movie at the same time while they were on the phone…so it was like Movie Tuesday. It would suffice until the summer time for them......
On this particular evening in May, Jane remained consistent in her “being late” routine. Because it was routine, Cara thought nothing of it, and decided to start popping the popcorn so that it’d be ready by the time Jane came bursting through the door with her over sized pillow and sleeping bag, already dressed in pajama pants and donning one of her sister’s old baggy lacrosse sweatshirts. Jane’s sister, Ally, loved lacrosse. Wearing Ally’s old lacrosse garb brought comfort to Jane.
Jane and Cara decided to set the date for 7pm every Tuesday. Though, 7 really meant like 7:30 by the time Jane arrived. Cara’s house was nearly a 20-minute drive for Jane, which she really didn’t mind. Jane worked as a nurse’s assistant during the day at Santa Monica’s General Hospital. She had been on her feet for a total of 10 hours that day already, and looked forward to Movie Tuesday, and the sanity that seemed to refill her during her 20-minute adventure to Cara’s house. Jane wasn’t a loaner, but she liked her alone time, and if she could only salvage a 20-minute drive as her alone time, she’d take it. For the first 15 minutes of her drive, Jane would keep her radio off, and just breathe, and think about her day. After her thoughts had downloaded, she would, hesitantly at first, begin to describe her day to God. She would get more comfortable as her drive continued, but it always ended the same way. Jane would get frustrated, and mad at herself that she’d spent a whole 15 minutes just gabbing about her day to God, and didn’t let Him have a minute to talk. Her one-way discussions with God would consist of the same thing every Tuesday, like clockwork. Just like the Movie Tuesday. Jane would unload about work that day, and her conversation always drifted to what was really bothering her.
Jane had questioned her sister’s death since the day she found out that Ally was dead. Ally checked herself into a counseling center to get cleaned up. Ally made great strides, and remained sober for 2 months. After 2 months of being clean, Ally’s boyfriend of 4 years was killed instantly when he tripped over some tools on a roof he was repairing, causing him to slip off some 20 feet. James landed on his head and broke his neck, killing him on impact. Shortly after learning of James’s death, Ally closed herself in her room and pulled out a stash of drugs she had hidden in her dresser drawer. She sniffed, and smoked and swallowed every last ounce that she had. Jane found her sister, her only sibling, lying peacefully on her bed with a picture of James crumpled up in her hand. From that day forward, Jane hadn’t been the same. And who could be?
Jane’s conversations always ended with questions and bewilderment and anger and sometimes tears aimed toward God. Jane would then turn up her music, wipe her tear-stricken face with the back of her hand, and continue on towards Cara’s house. Leaving Jane with 5 minutes to bring herself back from her hell of depression to put on a happy face for the Cane’s…whom had also gone through their own hell of death.
Charlie was 5 when he was diagnosed with leukemia. The Canes were devastated, but vowed to never give up and lose the battle to cancer. Their determination was short-lived and Charlie never made it to chemotherapy sessions. The cancer rapidly advanced through Charlie’s little body and literally “ate” him alive. Cara was never the same either, just as Jane was not after her sister Ally passed away. Jane and Cara leaned on each other for strength, and silently screamed out for help. Help they thought would never come.
The time on the microwave clock now read 7:49. Cara tried to ignore her thoughts of worry, and decided to clean up her room. She quickly finished in just 10 short minutes. Her heart began to beat a little faster as her eyes glanced at the time and the clock now read 8:05pm. Cara felt like the clock was more so playing an evil trick on her, like the clock knew that Cara was beginning to be worried about Jane’s arrival and decided to speed up time. But Cara quickly flipped open her phone and read the same time, 8:05, with no messages from Jane about a late arrival. Cara scrolled down to Jane’s number and moved her thumb over the “send” button, but dismissed her anxiety and shut her phone. Cara nervously began biting her nails, a habit she’d picked up shortly after her little brother was diagnosed with cancer.
(disclaimer: this next part is just kind of inserted as an active thought i felt i needed to write. don't let it confuse you.)
Jane never makes it to Cara’s house. Instead, Jane drives by Cara’s street by mistake because she got distracted. Her CD started to skip in the CD player and Jane tried to fix it, but for the split second she took her eyes off the road, she veered off the road into a ditch, flipping her car 4 times. Jane was killed instantly when her car slammed into a tree after it finished flipping.
Jane was immediately face to face with the living God. She stared at Him with her chestnut brown eyes, the same ones that He had given to her 23 years before, bewildered and caught very off guard. She didn’t really know what was going on. Sure she’d read about heaven in the Bible, heard it described in Sunday school, and on television, but nothing that was ever said about the place could accurately describe it. There was no golden gate, or saint standing at the door. Jane wasn’t standing on a cloud barefoot or donning a pair of wings. She was wearing her sister’s grubby green lacrosse sweatshirt with her favorite sweatpants, and her weathered green sneakers. She wore them everywhere, apparently, even to Heaven.
end part 1 

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