Thursday, February 10, 2011

what i want to be when i grow up


actually, more like, who i want to be when i grow up.

answer: a mom

details:
-with 4 kids all skating in hockey skates by the age of .02 hours, forcibly. ;)
-oh yea, i always forget the most important half, a man! of course you need a man!!! hahaha!

I used to NEVER want kids. and i never shared why (truthfully.) i mean, i always acted like one, sometimes, i still do. why wouldn't i want them? This is why i didn't...i was afraid of them!!! it's true, i was, and sometimes, dangit, i still am!!!  I wasn't confident in who i was as a person so it was like i was making up their mind before i even gave them a chance to make up their own. 


(ok...this might be overdoing it..but you get it...)

for most of my life, i was always told i'd make an excellent school teacher. my thought, "well, they do get summers off..." but i never thought much beyond that. and when you're 12...how could you?  my 'hatred' of kids followed me, and doomed me. it doomed me into loving them.  when i went away to college, we were required to participate and contribute to a ministry once a week off-campus.

I'm quite certain there was fasting and prayer and gnashing of teeth for the weeks leading up to my 'randomly' selected outreach by the Dean of Ministry. Random.  Yes...'randomly' I GOT KIDS!?!?!??!!  Young, inner-city kids.  Randomly. are you KIDDING ME!!??!?!

I believe it was the 2nd or 3rd time that we were scheduled to go (we went in groups of 3-5ish), i was on tap to share an interactive Bible story.  OMG!!! ME!!?!! i'll get eaten alive by those little monsters!!! But i did it.  and, if you haven't figured it out...i lived.  truth is, i was more blessed by those little monsters than i think they were blessed by me.  one little man came walking up to me, plopped himself on my lap as i read him a story and said, "did you know that Jesus loves you?"  That was it.  i was broken for them.  from that time on, i have envisioned a houseful of them, my own houseful (don't worry, Mom....)  The next year, i got a youth group full of middle-schoolers.  my senior year, a dry youth group of all the ages mixed together.  the second half of my senior year, a team member on a youth drama/service team that traveled to other cities ministering to youth groups through various ways.  skits, camp counselors, worship team, service jobs...you name it. 

I think i've been destined.  And so....I wait.    =) 

3 comments:

  1. Being a mother is only one part of what the Lord has for you, but a great mother you will be one day. Just be careful not to just to hold out for that moment and miss all the other opportunities the Lord gives you throughout this time of "waiting". Because ultimately, we're always waiting on the Lord, but He's always got a purpose for us in the moments we live right now. I love you so much Erica!

    ~Cher

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  2. of course, Cher. bein a bump on a log ain't no fun! =) but thanks for reading!!! wooo!!

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