If You Think God is Random...He's Not.

if you've ever had doubts about what your life was purposed for...that's normal.  and it can feel like a terrible HELL while you're living in that storm of doubt.  hail clouds of accusation, looming clouds of failures, torrential down pours of horizontal rain, loud crashes of thunder and lightning strikes that blind you instantly.  the good news is that it doesn't last forever.  and for months, and i'd say even years, i was wrestling with who i actually was and what i was for real purposed for on this earth.  and it's still difficult, but when you know WHO has purposed you, then you know your purpose is not wasted.  I recently went back to school to go for my bachelor's degree for elementary education.  I am a teacher and volunteer in my church's children's ministry and finally, a youth leader in the church youth group.  And for the past 4 years, i was seriously doubting that God had actually purposed me to do those things.  Had he really gifted me to be in the lives of young generations?  was i just wasting time serving in those areas, was i just a warm body filling a spot?  all real questions that i have had to wrestle down.

and then this weekend happened.  and then i knew for sure.  Something keeps playing through my mind the week of the trip.  I was serving in the kidzone ministry like any regular every-other-sunday. A new VIP and her daughter were serving that same sunday.  I was kneeling behind a lemonade stand, stirring a pot of grilled cheese when the mom  serving that day asked me if i was going on the youth trip to North Carolina.  I told her yes and that i was so excited to go and get to know the students more.  She agreed and said "you guys are so brave."  And then i started to think as i walked to my car this morning to load back up my car to go back home.  I wasn't that brave...God had just called me to do it.

My heart has been forever and eternally changed by 8 students who decided to go on a 14 hour
road trip with other students they kind of knew and youth leaders they knew even less.  For 5 days, we were together.  Either in a van or walking around the city of Charlotte.  It was hot, muggy and we stood in a LOT of lines.  But they didn't complain.  We stood in line for a worship concert for 9 hours, in 90 degree heat.  we sat on blankets, played cards, took selfies, and sang songs.

Justin is the dude bottom left

but let me start from the beginning.  before the trip even started.  in the weeks leading up the to trip, i had been praying for God to show up in all of their lives.  And then i prayed that God would show up in mine.  I prayed a very specific prayer for about a week leading up until the day of the trip.  I prayed that God would give us the opportunity, even though we were going on a trip to be spiritually fed, that God would give us the opportunity to love on others, and pour out His love.  I prayed for divine opportunities for us to show God's love.  And when I was praying for that, i had in mind that only in our group of 15 that we would be able to do that for each other.  Then on Thursday night, close to 11:30 at night, we decided to take a walk to the arena just to check out where we would be standing the next day.  And that is when God decided to answer that week old prayer.  We walked up to the arena, and we could hear the thumping of the bass as the worship band practiced inside.  We stood outside chatting and checking to see if the doors were magically unlocked.  Then, 2 people walked out of the arena.  The guy had on an Elevation Worship t-shirt and the girl had an Elevation name tag.  They stopped to say hi...and then we just kept talking.  We found out that Justin was an Elevation staff member who ran tech and Taylor was an Elevation intern.  We shared the normal "we are from Michigan" speech and didn't expect anything else.  But they stayed and talked to us for about 30 minutes.  Then we asked if we could pray for them and the event.  Justin said he wanted to pray for us.  So we all gathered around, grabbed the hand of the person next to us and prayed together.  Justin said he would look for us the next day and encouraged us to go to the Saturday night service early so that he could come find us.  A divine connection.

We left, feeling especially blessed knowing that we got to meet a staff member from a church that we have followed for years...and when i say follow, I mean stalk.  The next day, we arrived around 9:30am and we were the first ones in line for about 3 hours.  We saw Justin a few times and he came out to chill with us for a little while.  Then we took a selfie that is far greater than the one that Ellen took.  Now if you're wondering if this is still a divine connection or just a really large coincidence, keep reading.

The arena the concert was in holds more than 16000 people.  And 16000 people showed up to this event.  As the doors opened, our group of 15 maybe ran to a predetermined section only to be turned away about 3 times before we finally found a section we were allowed to sit in.  Frustrated that we weren't as close as we had planned to be, we split into 3 rows and anxiously waited for the concert to begin.  Of course there were potty breaks needed and shirts to be purchased.  Keeping in mind,
15,985 other people had the same thing in mind.  Three of our students decided to go get food while we waited the rest of the 45 minutes.  They soon returned saying the food was expensive...and that security guards were not going to let them back down to their seats with us.  They "somehow" found Justin, our divine connection, and got back to us safely.  Then a group i was in decided to use the bathroom and buy our shirts.  we bought our shirts and went back to the section we came from to get our seats.  There was a security guard who would not let us go back down, told us the section was full.  I informed him that we had already gotten seats and that we just needed to use the restroom and bought a shirt.  he wanted to know how we had seats saved, i told him we were with a group of 15 and we were already sitting down.  He ignored me and just looked over me as if i wasn't standing there.  I was severely irritated, and felt my blood begin to boil at the thought of not being able to sit with our group. i turned around in disappointment to walk to another entrance with the others i was with and as i looked away, i caught a glimpse of a familiar face...it was Justin.  I went up to him and told him security wasn't going to let us back in.  And of course, Justin had a fancy walkie talkie that wrapped around his back and clipped to the neck of his Elevation Worship shirt...so obviously he could get us back in.  I told him the story and he said, "Of course i can get you back in! I just saw 3 other little dudes from your group running around and they came up to me."  So Justin walked up to the curtain, informed the guard that the 4 of us were with him and we walked back down to our seats. He didn't know which rows we were sitting in, but he got us behind the curtain.  Now if you're still skeptical, keep reading.

After the concert was over, we stayed and lingered for about 10 minutes to let the crowd clear from our section as we took in what just happened; 16000 people praising Jesus, with one voice.  It was overwhelming to say the least.  Many shed tears, all of us raised our hands, clapped on and off beat, whooped and hollered for Jesus while jumping and singing and now we needed to sit and let it all sink in.  as the rows cleared in front of us, we saw a familiar face.  It was Justin.  We all yelled, "Hey Justin!" He looked up, smiled and walked up to our youth pastor.  They were engaged in conversation long enough for the event staff to kick us out of the row, then out of the section, then out past the curtain, then out past the merch table, then finally herded us to the exit.  Justin exchanged numbers with our youth pastor and i could tell his eyes were red after talking with her.

The students were giddy as we walked through the crowded Friday night streets of Charlotte, NC.  We went to dinner and found out what the conversation was about between the youth pastor and this divine connection, Justin.  Justin felt the need to share his testimony with our youth pastor, which was why he was emotional.  He told her that he felt connected to our group, that he felt God had called him to invest into this crazy group from Michigan.  He wanted to meet up with us after the saturday night service and go to dinner and just chill with us.  We went to Blakeney, NC to the main Elevation Church campus, stood in line for an hour, found Justin! Then raced to our 6-rows-from-the-stage seats.  Justin came and found us again, told us to hang out after service and that we would all go to dinner afterward.  We walked the campus, looked through all the rooms, got our free shirt and finally, found Justin again.  We headed across the street to Chick-Fil-A, where Justin bought all 12 of our meals.  Him and Taylor sat down to dinner with us and talked to the leaders from 7:30 until about 10pm.  He shared his heart on some things that he has learned and Taylor did too.  Then our youth pastor had a brilliant idea.  She invited them to come to our next youth event, a 3-night worship event at the end of August.  As she was giving him details, he pulled out his phone to look for flights.

We went to be fed and we were abundantly blessed.  Justin told us that he wanted to be that one that the students could call or text at 2am if they were having a rough time, he wanted to be a connection in their lives.  He exchanged his snapchat with all 12 students and 5 leaders.  And so did Taylor.  We left Chick-Fil-A and he prayed one last time for us and we ended the night with them the only way we knew how; with a selfie.

Justin was an answer to my "divine opportunity" prayer.  I had no idea what that would look like, and as always, God blew my mind.  To know, that out of all the people we could have run into, and did run into, Justin stopped long enough to hear our story and stayed long enough to share his and let God speak to his heart.  I prayed for divine opportunity to show God's love, for divine opportunity to be Jesus to the ones on the trip.  And God delivered, big time.  A relationship connection that is so far beyond what i had ever expected.  I am still processing all that happened on this trip.  And i so look forward to the way God will use Justin in our lives and how God will use us in Justin's life.  A truly divine connection.