Wednesday, June 22, 2011

...and then I remembered I have a blog

I just got back from my break. I drank a vitamin water zero (so good. Lemonade flavor) and had some cheez-its. Not the best choice. But oh well. It keeps me awake for a few more hours. On my way out of the lounge I walked by a fixture hanging on the wall of a dated poem. In a very quick moment I felt my heart leap...like I wished I had penned the words that hung lonely on the wall...and then i wondered if it ever got read. I made my way back to my room and then it dawned on me that i have a blog..and I can write. I'm sitting between 2 elder men. Both are fall risks, one is coherent the other one has no clue. Luckily the confused one is asleep. But I have mastered the art of speaking too soon. So we shall see! My mind is wandering aimlessly like little fuzzies that float thru the air from those annoying cat tails. I'm thinking about my day's plans for wednesday. I should to home and sleep cuz I have to work again tonight. I should run bc I haven't since Saturday. I should get back on track with my life aftr being away and busy for the last month. I should i should I should I should. Blah blah blah!!! That vacation was wonderful. Fuzzy fuzzy fuzzy. Float. Anyway. It's crazy how just getting away for a significant amount of time can really open hour eyes to things. Mainly....myself. It's not like I rediscovered who i was but being away really helped me to see how much I've grown. How much more of a growed up I've become. I feel more mature. I feel like a real live adult. With adult Problems and adult sized issues and adult sized feet. It's like I can't fit my feet in those really awesome Velcro Power Rangers light up shoes anymore. I can't fit into them anymore. My adult sized wallet isn't a purple vinyl tri fold with a picture of the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles anymore. it's got more zippers and sleeves for health care cards and ATM cards and voters card and real live money. Not play money. Which incidentally is always much more than normal bills anyway. I feel more of a responsibility to life and the tasks at hand. I feel more of a responsibility to my job and my hearts desires and just dealing with who I am. Which I'm learning isn't such an easy task in And of itself! I'm about to figure out who I really am I think completely for the first time. And I'm not saying my mind won't continue to aimlessly wander about fluttering like those cat tail fuzzies. It might wander much more. But even as I picture it now I see that the parameters in which my mind wanders will begin to encompass only thoughts that truly cause me to feel like I can be a real live grown up...with a child sized faith in Him.

How's that for some fluttering fuzzies floating around aimlessly?

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