so what's the point?

i think i have come to somewhat of a reason as to why blogging exists...well for me anyway.  shoot...i just forgot what i was gonna say....

don't you just hate when that happens!? 

yes i did say subtle reminder...

i have to subtly remind myself that just because i have a cyber piece of my life on display (no matter how futile or anything otherwise) there's nothing that says i have to write a new blog every other day. It's not like it's some kind of New Year's resolution.  maybe it was just a resolution. i resolute to start blogging. and i did. and i have! i guess. if this is what blogging is...and until people remember me on my 100th birthday for the riveting rhyming ravishing kids books i mass produce, well, then i will blog when i feel like it (happy birthday, Dr. Seuss...) 

Can bloggers be self conscious?  why, yes! they certainly can!  I mean, if im a real life blogger, then yes, they can be self conscious.  about what?  no one can see them. they can't even see themselves as they blog about.  im self conscious about my writing.  which is why i dickered with myself and the world wide web in the first place.  my writing was something i kept private. it was something i only shared with a minimal amount of people. and i think for more selfish reasons than anything.  i actually liked reading my own writing.  i liked reading and re-reading my scribbled handwriting that sometimes only my eyes could read. and i think i wanted to keep that to myself. it was something that i knew that i did that i actually enjoyed. if that makes sense.  and the thought of many pairs of eyes scanning my personal quandaries and triumphs, bewilderment and understanding, my ah-ha! moments and puzzling alike, well, it kind of frightened me. Perhaps that 'f' word is too harsh. but not far off.  in my wildest dreams (yes they can be wild...) i'd imagine maybe having a couple books on a bookshelf somewhere.  or some lying on the floor in some teenager's room next to an over sized bean bag. 

most recent wildest dream...2 nights ago. after probably not enough sleep.  after having not slept for nearly 3 days (cuz i work overnights) i dreamt i scored the winning goal in a hockey game...with a spoon.  yes, a cereal spoon. i shoot left handed...and folks, not only did i score the winning goal with a spoon, but i scored it with a right handed curve.  now...go ahead and dare to tell me that that isn't wild.  yea. that's what i thought.  most of my talents seem to exist only in my dreams! ha!

Dare to dream...