Jane sadly closed her tattered journal, wiped the few tears that remained nestled under her eyelids, and pushed herself down into her blankets. She could hear the wind ignorantly blowing against the bedroom window. She was praying that the noise was loud enough to drown out her gasps between her desperate cries. She lay back, her cheek soaking the pillow with her now fountain of tears. She was confused. She pulled her sister's favorite rugby hoodie close as she tried to convince herself to fall asleep. But who was she kidding? The old analog alarm clock next to the bed stared back at her with an evil, mocking grin. The clock read 3:30am. Jane was due to be awake just 3 hours from then. Jane thought to herself, "I can't possibly deal with this, i can't deal with my emotions and other peoples' emotions all in the same day, i just can't."
Jane played scenarios in her head of how her sister's funeral would play out. Jane was to share a little bit about her only sister, her only sibling. Jane could carely stomach the thought, how would she be able to actually go through with it?
Two and a half hours later, Jane groggily turned over and punched the alarm clock, knocking it to the floor. She groaned as she leaned over the side of the side of the bed to retrieve the alarm clock, and as she did, something caught her eye under the bed. Still hanging upside down over the bed, and her hair in disarray, she gingerly reached for the little box. She was half expecting that someone would reach for her hand or that Ally would come charging through the door and jump on top of her, raging mad that her sister was going through her personal stuff again. But no such thing happened. Jane just reached for the box and pulled it out, and lifted herself back onto the bed upright. She started to nervously shake as thoughts of her sister flooded her brain. She calmed herself and Jane lightly shook the box. There really wasn't a sound made from the little box. Jane continued in her tactics in trying to figure ou the contents of the box, but she just couldn't bring herself to open the box. the outside of the box reminded Jane of an antique-looking jewelry box, only it was modernized by Ally's creative side. There was a small picture of Ally and Jane glued to the bottom. Ally also engraved her initials, A.J, into the top of the box. (p.s. this isnt part of the story, but i just realized that my friend who died, her initials were A.J....it kind of startled me as i typed it.) anyway, back to the story...
After Jane discovered the picture, she slowly set the box down n the bed. She decided, "This is stupid, it's not mine, i'm not going through this box."
Jane left the small box sitting on the bed and got up to get ready. Jane had decided she would NOT be adorning the traditional "mourning garb" as she so lovingly described to her mother the night before.
"Ally's favorite color was, i mean is, i mean, it's, her favorite color is orange," Jane stammered as she was leafing through her closet of clothes. She pulled her clothes off the hangers and made her way into the bathroom....
After her shower, Jane's thoughts were almost immediately consumed with what remained in that small, seemingly insignifant box. She shook her head, "Just get ready, Jane," she said to herself in the mirror. Jane practiced what she would say at the funeral later. She was quite impressed at how un-nervous she was. The reality of her sister really being gone had not set in, and wouldnt for a very long time. Just as God was about to talk with Jane, she swithced on her hair dryer, and turned up the volume on her CD plyaer, and continued to get ready. He wasn't offended. And what's more, He even knew He would not be heard by a grieving Jane. But He did it because He loved her, to prove that He was there even when she didn't know. Cara readied herself also for the funeral. She and Jane were going to ride together, and Cara, her best friend, vowed she would be anywhere at anytime for Jane through her grief-stricken journey.
Cara somberly climbed the stairs to Jane's room and met a light-hearted Jane at the bathroom door. jane was singing loudly and laughing. Cara, confused, decided to join in on the "fun" Jane seemed to be haivng by herself. Jane looked up to find Cara singing with her and her bright smile widened.
"Are you ready to head out?" Jane asked. Cara shook her head, still smiling and playing air guitar. The two friends walked out of the house and into Cara's car, and left for the untimely funeral.
"Hey Cara," Jane started, "I found somehting under Ally's bed today. I think i want to open it, and i almost did, but i think i want you there with me when i do. Is that ok?" she asked hesitantly. Cara nodded, agreeing and said, "Of course, whatever you want me to do, i'll do. Wherever, and whenever you want to, just let me know." she responded in a cheerful voice.
"Cara, I'm lucky to have you..." Jane said, and her voice trailed off.
"Hey," Cara responded, "I'm the lucky one. I wished i had a sister my whole life, I mean i love my brohter, but it's just cool to have someone to understand you," Cara finished as she put the car in park and pulled her keys out of the ignition. Cara shed one lonely tear as she looked back to Jane. Jane smiled big and wiped away Cara's tear with the back of her hand.
end part 3
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