i've been asking myself this question for the past few weeks and haven't really come up with a solid answer. so i'll ask it on my blog. what is it, really, that makes someone want to read about someone else's life? whether it's a blog, or a celebrity biography. I have found myself intrigued with certain celebrity's lives. the first book i read about a celebrity was Portia de Rossi. Her book is called Unbearable Lightness. it was so good. it's her story of how she fell into her eating disorders, annorexia and bullemia. it started when she was 12, at her first photo shoot. the photographers asked her if she worked out. she answered sheepishly and said no. the photographer suggested that she start because her "ass is too flabby." (pardon the language, im just quoting.) I found that to be intriguing. why? because i used to be 12. and when i was 12, i wasn't really worried about my backside being too flabby. (i don't really have a backside to begin with) i was worried about whether or not the boys on my summer street hockey team would pass me the ball because i was a girl.
For Christmas, my sister bought me Ellen DeGeneres's new book. i LOVE Ellen. yea, she's a lesbian. guess what, I DON'T CARE! She does more good than some of the Christians in this world. (there i said it.) Anyway...I guess i'm intrigued because these people, these celebrities...they are people too. they were 12 one time. And to hear a celebrity air her laundry about her eating disorders in such graphic, vulnerable detail...is commendable. it's role model-ish.
After i read Portia's book, is when i noticed i started to become more vulnerable in my own blogs. not to gain noteriety from the handful of people that read it from my facebook or twitter page...but because that's what people want. they want real. they want muck. they want mush. they want heart. and if that's what they want...well, i'll give it to them...but not because that's what they want. but because that's what i want. it would be a terrible waste to walk this earth for however many more years i have left and not allow people to really truly know who i am, to the core. I've already shared a great chunk of my life through this blog and the funny thing, is that i noticed the stats on my blog posts have jumped from about roughly 6-10 clicks to about 30-50 clicks each post. and that isn't to puff up my head (it's puffy enough.)
I've ALWAYS always wanted to be...a writer. always. since i was little. I was a master speller, grammar freak, English/Literature class extraordinaire. I'm still most of those things. Once i went to Bible school, though, i shoved that dream. Why? Because i was at Bible school. I had to be a pastor. or a worship leader. not a measly writer. besides...there were people that were far greater than me at grammar, punctuation, research papers, eloquently written reports. i couldn't possibly measure up to any of them.
so i didn't write. and now...i do. even if it is on this tiny, minute soap box platform. and some day, i want to write a book.
the written word has such great power. it can touch hearts, set captives free and the one thing i always want to do every time i click "publish" is to offer some kind of truth and hope to whomever reads these posts. i pray every time i sit at my computer that each word, phrase, quote, funny story, punctuation mark and picture moves those that read it. Helps others to understsand that they aren't alone. There's a real person that sits behind these words. and a real heart that beats with passion to write with clarity and truth. grace and healing. and most importantly, vulnerability.
Thanks for reading.
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