Trust fall

...though yes, i trust Fall to be one of my favorite seasons of the year and every year, it shows up and meets my high expectations, what with it's golden crisp leaves, the brisk mornings that cause you to look like a chain smoker when you first walk outside and breathe, the new hoodies that don my closet rack and the start of college football, i am not talking about trusting the season, Fall. I'm talking about the act of a trust fall. ya know...when you have someone standing behind you and you throw your arms out to the sides of you in a wingspan formation and let your feet come up off of the ground and you fall into the arms of the person standing behind you...well, hopefully.  if they weren't there...it would just be a fall. though perhaps more hilarious...not more fun. unless it was a pile of leaves you were falling in...then, very different story.

it seems that lately, i've had to...no, wanted, to trust God more. with...everything actually.  turns out...He likes it when we trust Him. He WANTS us to trust Him.  i feel like most times, when we say, "Yea i just need to trust God more" it's for like, material things...which is totally fine! i'm not knocking the physical need. we are mankind. we need things sometimes.  so, don't get all pissy! (yet...)

I think today, in these times, we tend to forget that we can not just trust Him for the physical needs we have...a car, a job, an income, our health, our families, clothes, etc. but more so, for the emotional stuff. the junk that sits on the inside. the stuff that swirls around like an eddy of leaves in the very pit of our souls. the stuff, the junk that can't even be put into mere words. maybe it comes out  in your tears, or a mad journaling session. maybe there's a song that accurately describes what you just cannot put into words. but the ease in the midst of the not understanding, is that He totally understands. Completely. Absolutely.  He gets it.  oh my gosh. so many times we toil in our own muck. we sit in our own pity. and it's comfortable. why? because we don't move. we sit in it.  or we go the total oppostite way.  we run. we shove that stuff down. and we become resentful. hardened to the grace of God...when deep down...isn't that what we want to begin with?  i say yes. because i've been there...in both of those rotten places.  i'm not saying crap doesn't happen to good people...and shoot, even awesome things happen to not so good people.  that's just the world we live in. it's not fair all the time.  but let's stop and remember...was it really fair that Jesus died because of all of our sin and our junk and our self pity and our hardened hearts? i think not.

let me be more clear...
i've had crap happen in my life. crap still happens in my life. i could list that crap...but i don't want pity or sympathy. I have God and He can heal me. people cannot.  and i'm not even saying that i've not allowed people into my crappy crap. you need people. besides sacrificing His one and only Son, God's greatest gift to mankind was and still is people.

wow. God is so good. His peace is the only thing that can calm a raging sea. quiet a disasterous storm.  and be in all places at all times. right now...He's with me. right now, He's with you. Emmanuel...God with us. 

Each day, i trust fall into His grace.