Addict?

...i think so.

to what...

i think running....

                         sometimes.

last night at work i guess i shouldnt have expected anything different. lately it's been extremely difficult and trying for a few various reasons.  ive been sitting with more combative, confused elderly patients.  if you would like to test out your own patience...(no pun intended) see how quickly your patience runs dry sitting with people who insist on climbing over the bed rails and setting off screeching bed alarms.  who insist on getting into bed...when they are already in it.  who clench and raise a fist, hawk loogies, make passes at you (im serious...), talk to you like you're the scum of the earth.  patience is a virtue they say. here's what i want to know...WHO THE HECK IS 'THEY'??!?!?  and did 'they' sit with these kinds of people, deal with these kinds of people night after night?  ok, i'm done ranting. for now.  my irritation began as soon as i set foot into the room last night.  there was a chair, smack dab in the middle of 2 beds, both with bed alarms on, both with soft wrist restraints hanging off the bed.  see...we're (us patient sitters) are not allowed to sit with 2 patients.  but it happens. and when it does...you just kinda have to take it.  its been happening more often than not.  here's the funny part (maybe not funny...), the floor ive been sitting on lately...is a SURGERY RECOVERY FLOOR!!!! not a confused, dementia, combative patient floor.   all night, i heard confused yells and babbled shouting all up and down the hall.  it really is sad. and the even sadder part (sadder???) is that all the floors are like that.  oncology, med-surg, selective, ICU. it's really sad.  i heard that nursing homes won't take patients from a hospital that require a patient sitter...whether it's true or not, the hospital is FULL of them. 

more irritation.  the nurse that was taking care of these 2 gentlemen hardly ever set foot in there...only to pass meds.  she was nice...i guess.  except when you needed her because 'guy in bed 2' ripped off his gown and pants and started straddling the bed rails in the nude...while i try helplessly and hopelessly to coherse him back into bed...without getting punched or shoved or kicked.  i saw the nurse aide on several occasions, and heard her frustration about the nurse that never seemed to come answering the call of desperation from my room.  all the while, keeping in mind, im not even assigned to 'guy in bed 2 that takes off all clothes trying to leave bed to find his bed.'  luckily, 'confused, combative guy in bed 1' was asleep for nearly the entire night.  and not combative.  but still...i would have been SCREWED if 'guy in bed 1' hated me as much as 'guy in bed 2.' 

all i could think about, besides jumping out the window, was blowing off my steam and irritation by running.  not just out of the hospital...but just running.  i got home and was so tired.  as would be expected when staying up all night...added to wrestling around with some big old confused guy all night.  T-I-R-E-D.

but i wanted to run, NEED to run haha! So i got home, plugged in the iPod, put on my running clothes...and fell asleep.  DOH!!!! i hate when i do that. because by the time i wake up, its hot outside (well, in the summer it is.)  i woke up at 11:45am.  sighed deeply when i realized i was in my running clothes, but hadn't utilized them as they were orginally intended to be used.  i groggily pulled myself out of bed and walked to the livingroom.  then decided i needed to go to the store for a few things. i added a few things to my list, per my dad, and left.  when i walked outside, it was actually nice out. not too hot.  it was overcast. perfect running weather.  and wouldnt ya know it, i still had my running garb on.  i dismissed the want to run, the need and got in my car and headed to the mall.  i drove around the parking lot, and then left.  i didn't really need anything there anyway.  i headed to the grocery store, my intended destination.  as i drove alongside the cement trail on the main drag, the desire started to overtake me...again.  luckily, the grocery store has a trail head that leads up the main stretch of highway. and i thought..."gosh, i could totally get a run in before i go into the store."  I parked next to the trail, tied up my shoes and hit the trail.  i didn't even have my music.  im not sure ive ever run without my music.  you know now how bad the addition is. Ha!

i jumped on the trail and let loose.  it was wonderful.  the noise of the 6 lane, 2 directional highway masked my heavy breathing and otherwise labored respiratory difficulties.  it's hard to run after getting over sinus congestion...  
addict.

i got back to my car, not even knowing the distance, or the time (which normally crosses my mind, oh every 2 minutes) and it didn't even bother me.  i was gone for 30 minutes.  i wished it was longer.  but it would suffice.  it was just...nice to know i could get out of my car, jump on a trail and go.  no music, no agenda, no restrictions, no time restraints, no old men trying to make moves on me, punch me, kick me, shove me or cuss me out (at least not that i knew of...).

free.