Cara loved traveling too. She also loved learning about the culture and language of people in different countries. Since she was little, Cara always had a fascination with different cultures. By the time she was 12, she had been to 3 totally different areas of the world; Mexico, France, and Africa. Cara would go with her dad on his overseas trips. Mr. Cane pioneered schools for challenged and underprivileged children. He loved bringing his girl with him. And Cara was always ready to drop her 'busy' 12-year old schedule and accompany her dad. Cara decided at a very young age that she wanted to be just like her dad. And that's what she did. By the time she was 16, Cara was fluent in French and Spanish, just as her dad was. They were both working on their African accents. Cara's heart grew bigger every time she went to these schools and saw first-hand the kinds of struggles these kids had to endure day after day. Most of the kids they came into contact with had parents, but an even greater amount of them lived with the teachers of these schools. Though bigger, Cara's heart broke for these 'unwanted' children.
Cara even planned lessons and taught a few times with her dad. It was after her last trip to Mexico at age 17 that she really decided to go for what her heart had desired. Cara wanted to be a teacher to underprivileged children overseas. From that moment on, she set her heart on pursuing her greatest desire.
Cara graduated top of her class, and headed off to college to major in both language and teaching. Her parents were thrilled. It was her sophomore year when she learned that her brother Charlie was diagnosed with cancer. Luckily for her, she was nearing the end of her sophomore year and would be home with her family for the entire summer. Just as the summer before when she was home to be with her best friend Jane when Ally died from a drug overdose.
Jane grew up not really knowing what she was good at doing. She kind of just followed behind her sister's impeccable piano playing and singing. She would find herself planted in front of the piano, just listening to her sister Ally pound on the ivory keys, and make beautiful music. Ally just had a knack for playing and could light up a room with her playing. Jane great jealous fast but hid her jealousy well. Jane loved to write and read but she felt like a huge nerd. So she never talked about what she liked to do. She would do anything she could to avoid questions from others regarding what she wanted to do when she grew up. When faced with those questions she couldn't dodge, Jane usually just shrugged her shoulders and said that she would like to "be a veterinarian or something like that," uninterested. People seemed to be ok with that answer, so Jane just went with it. Secretly though, it was Jane's journal that knew everything about her. Even Jane felt as if her notebook knew more about herself than she even knew. Almost as if she should be asking advice from her journal. But Jane was ok with that. Until one Tuesday afternoon when she met her best friend, her neighbor.
The two girls met when they were both 10, when Jane and her family moved into the city, right across the street from the Cane's. However, the two of them didn't click until they were both 15, starting a grueling freshman year at the local high school. In their life skills class, the students were required to give a 15 minute speech about what they would like to do when they grew up and how it would impact lives. Cara jumped at the opportunity to share her experiences she had going to different countries. She couldn't wait to start.
Sitting right behind Cara, Jane sank into her chair as the teacher explained their upcoming assignment. They had a week to prepare. The due date was the following Tuesday. Jane immediately searched the recesses of her mind to conjure up a remarkable reason to not attend school the following Tuesday.
"I could get hurt riding my bike, i could eat too much ice cream on Monday night, i could use my sister's toothbrush, she's been sick, ummmm," Jane thought.
It seemed as though every excuse Jane came up with had the same counter action; she'd have to give the speech the next day anyway.
Jane continued her scheming on the bus ride home. But, no matter what clever plan she came up with, she realized she would still have to give her presentation, regardless.
Jane slowly shuffled home and made her way up to her room. Jane sat at her desk and pulled out her trusty journal, and this is what she wrote;
[Hi journal, Today was a really hard day. I have to get up in front of my whole class and talk about what i want to do when i grow up. I have always told everyone that i wanted to be a vet or some kind of doctor and everyone smiles and tells me, "Oh Jane, that's wonderful, you could really do this world some good," or some other load of crap about how they are "really proud of me," insert fake smile. Blah blah blah. I don’t really want to do that...i don’t think. Ahhhhh i just don’t know, i'll probably never know. My sister writes and plays music and i just write in this stupid book....
sorry Journal.]Cara, on the other hand, just across the street, sat in her living room on the edge of her couch, beaming about her newest assignment. "MOOOOOMMMMM i get to tell everyone about what i want to do, FINALLY i get to share about what i really love to do, mom."
"Cara, that's...." here mom piped in.
"i know, im so excited," Cara interrupted, and she ran upstairs to her room to start right away.
Mrs. Cane chuckled as she picked up Cara's shoes and continued vacuuming.
Cara could barely write as fast as her mind was racing with thoughts.
then she stopped and thought, "i should slow down and maybe ask God to help me organize this thing." She 'righteously' straightened up in her chair, and thought, "ok God, where should i start? Hellllooooo? Are you there?"
Cara sat silent and thought she heard, "look up." Cara looked up and out her window to the street. She wrinkled her brown and put her hand on her chin. "What the heck am i supposed to be looking at?" she said, not half realizing that she was talking to God.
Meanwhile, Jane sat behind her drawn shades, crying. She thought, "i wonder what it's like to know what you want to do, to really know and be ok with you as you are?"
"This is stupid", Cara said aloud. What am i l-o-o-k-i-n-g fooorrrrrrr???" she pounded the desk. At once, Cara sensed the mood change in the room, and she became silent. In her heart, she felt God talking to her. He responded promptly, "You're not the one looking, someone else is looking for you."
Cara peered through her window again, and noticed what had been there all along, Jane's bedroom window. She quickly realized that whenever she had looked out her window, those shades were ALWAYS drawn. Cara really only ever saw Jane at school during lunch and their life-skills class.
Cara wanted to laugh, but she knew what she heard. She began to reason, "what am i supposed to do?"
"Your excitement over this assignment isn't going to get you anything other than a good grade. Jane needs you to be her friend. So go do it."
Very reluctantly, Cara agreed, standing to her feet. She walked across the street, and up to the Jewell's doorstep. She breathed deep and rang the door bell.
Jane sat up and wiped her face with her hand and felt a rush of excitement. "Oh yes," she said aloud, "my package is finally here." Jane had ordered a book a few days ago. She raced downstairs, to the front door. She swung it open.
"Hi, I'm Cara, i live right over there," she pointed across the street.
"Listen," Cara said, "I'm kind of bored and i realized that we have lived across the street from each other for the past 5 years, but we've never hung out together, or even said hi except at school. Are you busy?"
Jane stood flabbergasted, her eyes wide open, hands still in the pockets of her favorite pair of sweatpants. "I'd love to spend some time getting to know you," Jane stammered.
Sitting right behind Cara, Jane sank into her chair as the teacher explained their upcoming assignment. They had a week to prepare. The due date was the following Tuesday. Jane immediately searched the recesses of her mind to conjure up a remarkable reason to not attend school the following Tuesday.
"I could get hurt riding my bike, i could eat too much ice cream on Monday night, i could use my sister's toothbrush, she's been sick, ummmm," Jane thought.
It seemed as though every excuse Jane came up with had the same counter action; she'd have to give the speech the next day anyway.
Jane continued her scheming on the bus ride home. But, no matter what clever plan she came up with, she realized she would still have to give her presentation, regardless.
Jane slowly shuffled home and made her way up to her room. Jane sat at her desk and pulled out her trusty journal, and this is what she wrote;
[Hi journal, Today was a really hard day. I have to get up in front of my whole class and talk about what i want to do when i grow up. I have always told everyone that i wanted to be a vet or some kind of doctor and everyone smiles and tells me, "Oh Jane, that's wonderful, you could really do this world some good," or some other load of crap about how they are "really proud of me," insert fake smile. Blah blah blah. I don’t really want to do that...i don’t think. Ahhhhh i just don’t know, i'll probably never know. My sister writes and plays music and i just write in this stupid book....
sorry Journal.]Cara, on the other hand, just across the street, sat in her living room on the edge of her couch, beaming about her newest assignment. "MOOOOOMMMMM i get to tell everyone about what i want to do, FINALLY i get to share about what i really love to do, mom."
"Cara, that's...." here mom piped in.
"i know, im so excited," Cara interrupted, and she ran upstairs to her room to start right away.
Mrs. Cane chuckled as she picked up Cara's shoes and continued vacuuming.
Cara could barely write as fast as her mind was racing with thoughts.
then she stopped and thought, "i should slow down and maybe ask God to help me organize this thing." She 'righteously' straightened up in her chair, and thought, "ok God, where should i start? Hellllooooo? Are you there?"
Cara sat silent and thought she heard, "look up." Cara looked up and out her window to the street. She wrinkled her brown and put her hand on her chin. "What the heck am i supposed to be looking at?" she said, not half realizing that she was talking to God.
Meanwhile, Jane sat behind her drawn shades, crying. She thought, "i wonder what it's like to know what you want to do, to really know and be ok with you as you are?"
"This is stupid", Cara said aloud. What am i l-o-o-k-i-n-g fooorrrrrrr???" she pounded the desk. At once, Cara sensed the mood change in the room, and she became silent. In her heart, she felt God talking to her. He responded promptly, "You're not the one looking, someone else is looking for you."
Cara peered through her window again, and noticed what had been there all along, Jane's bedroom window. She quickly realized that whenever she had looked out her window, those shades were ALWAYS drawn. Cara really only ever saw Jane at school during lunch and their life-skills class.
Cara wanted to laugh, but she knew what she heard. She began to reason, "what am i supposed to do?"
"Your excitement over this assignment isn't going to get you anything other than a good grade. Jane needs you to be her friend. So go do it."
Very reluctantly, Cara agreed, standing to her feet. She walked across the street, and up to the Jewell's doorstep. She breathed deep and rang the door bell.
Jane sat up and wiped her face with her hand and felt a rush of excitement. "Oh yes," she said aloud, "my package is finally here." Jane had ordered a book a few days ago. She raced downstairs, to the front door. She swung it open.
"Hi, I'm Cara, i live right over there," she pointed across the street.
"Listen," Cara said, "I'm kind of bored and i realized that we have lived across the street from each other for the past 5 years, but we've never hung out together, or even said hi except at school. Are you busy?"
Jane stood flabbergasted, her eyes wide open, hands still in the pockets of her favorite pair of sweatpants. "I'd love to spend some time getting to know you," Jane stammered.
end part 5
this concludes the portion i began writing 18 months ago. thoughts continue to plague my mind and i will eventually share them to whomever (if there are 'whomevers') out there wants to read. thank you for peering in!
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